6 Therapist-Approved Communication Exercises For Couples
Conflicts provide us insights into the state of a relationship. Remember that fighting is not always a bad omen, as all couples go through rough times in their relationships.
Before learning how couples can improve communication, we must first understand the differences between good and bad communication. Start with the tendencies that lead to strain. When resolving conflicts, couples should be conscious of these tendencies and avoid these patterns at all costs. According to the Gottman Method, Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, together known as the four horsemen, affect the vitality of one's relationship.
Effective communication with your spouse is crucial to the sustenance of a healthy, flourishing marriage. It helps spouses figure out whether a disagreement drives them apart or brings them closer. That is why one should seek couple therapy since it might teach individuals conflict resolution strategies in a manner that still fosters intimacy.
The following are six communication exercises approved by accredited relationship therapists, which may help the couple consolidate their bond:
A Gentle Start-up
Criticism is an attack on one's character, and the most effective method to prevent it is to maintain a focus on the relationship problem at hand. Twosomes may voice valid issues without assigning blame to their partner, using a gentle opening. It begins with the use of "I" sentences.
An "I" statement describes how you feel. It eliminates the accusatory tone sometimes associated with "you" sentences. The primary objective of this communication exercise is to make your partner understand your viewpoint and encourage them to work on a solution.
A gentle attitude helps defuse confrontations before they might get heated. It reduces the stakes and prevents debates from becoming personal by keeping them on the subject.
Explanatory Statements
Not all partners will be open to soft start-ups. Some partners always respond in a defensive way. Others may just be afraid of trying something new, especially when it comes to a problem that has been going on for a long time.
Dr. Julie Gottman recommends making explanatory statements to put them at ease. You should tell them that you are not trying to put them down; you care about them and just need a little reassurance. Such statements demonstrate that you are attempting to connect without resorting to old habits such as criticism and denigration. Yet they require a degree of vulnerability, they inspire your partner to open up freely.
Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are short sentences that emphasize the qualities a couple admires in one another. They might be written or spoken so long as they convey genuine affection. However, twosomes should be more specific while using these affirmations.
For instance, "I love you" is an ambiguous expression that maintains the focus on your emotions. On the other, the phrase "I love the way you care for me" spotlights your partner's attributes and affirms their worth in your life.
Mutual Appreciation
Contempt is the most difficult horseman to tame. A scornful spouse utilizes it even in its subtle manifestations to control the relationship and retain supremacy. Without realizing it, spouses might get into this poisonous cycle. A culture of appreciation prevents the emergence of contempt and disdain.
Partners focused on mutual appreciation find it easier to maintain respect, affection, and admiration in their relationship.
Articulation of Emotions
People express scorn even when they believe they are being sincere. Although statements such as "You are so self-centered" and "Why cannot you be responsible like me?" may represent an underlying sentiment, they nevertheless upset the recipient.
Articulating your needs enables you to express your feelings without judgment or resentment. Examples of positive expressions include:
I miss spending weekends with you.
I appreciate your confidence, but when you undertake risk, I feel concerned.
I want us to move forward; let bygones be bygones.
Responsibility and Accountability
Making excuses is only one aspect of defensiveness in a relationship. It is a covert method to accuse someone of raising their concerns. You cannot express your thoughts if your significant other harms you and then plays the victim.
Pairs should practice accepting responsibility for their mistakes, no matter how trivial they are. Twosomes who share mutual responsibility for their actions are less likely to point fingers at one another. When couples hold themselves accountable for their actions, they can start working on actual issues.
Final Word
Communication exercises help twosomes revive the charisma of their marriage. If the partners communicate openly and effectively, the relationship will likely prosper. We hope these six couple communication activities will prove helpful.
